?...turns into... :-)

The title is a mystery. And so is this blog. And my life. But, to put it more simply, everything is now just one big WHY that's been building up for many years. Ever since seventh grade, as a matter of fact.

Now, I don't want to go all "middle school drama"-y here, but I can't help it. Lately all I seem to be able to do is complain and sit there pointing out the problems of the world without actually doing anything to help.

And it's starting to get annoying.

WHY am I so bad in social situations?

WHY are the people who are deemed "uncool" by the rest of society always my friends (not that this is a bad thing, really: they're cool!)?

WHY do I complain so much?

WHY do I have to fight my nature to be mean and impulsive rather than calm and respectful?

"No man is an island," John Donne says. Then why am I so isolated? Why do I unconsciously attract things that make me an "island"?

Do I want to be an island?

Sometimes, but not all the time.

Do I want to be separated from the mainland?

Sometimes, but not all the time.

Do I want to just sit back and watch while other people are putting themselves out there and I sit here and curse my laziness?

No, not really.

Even though that's what happens most of the time.

So, you're wondering (if there even are any readers of this isolated section of the blogosphere): if I say that I don't like complaining and criticizing, then WHY am I sitting here writing a post that is, essentially, one big complaint? I'll tell you why. It's because that's what human nature is. We are all sinners. No one is "basically good". Why do you think that little kids have to be taught to share instead of just naturally sharing their toys? Why do you think that parents have to teach their children to be polite in public?

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be hypocritical and start complaining again. SO, from now on, I'm going to make a pact with myself to try and only say things that will not be complainy even if I feel the desire to do so after reading something that gets me all twisted up because things are not going how I want them to be! Because, ultimately, I am not in control of my life. God is.

And I am not afraid to say that the Lord is my God. Even if you will call me names and ridicule me.

Water off a duck's back.